After Wiggles's death, Tuxedo kitten started to look like he was going south. Heather very sweetly obliged me, and came to see them...and she gave Tuxedo a 30% to survive due to the congestion in his lungs. The other orange kitty wasn't looking too hot either, but he was still nursing and pretty mobile.
6 hours and 2 feedings later, I found both of them dead at 3:45am on July 4th.
It didn't hurt as much this time; maybe it was the fact I was half awake, maybe because I was so emotionally drained, maybe because it was so sudden and such a surprise. We buried them in the garden (of course my boyfriend I haven't seen in a month has to be here for all this), and now we're really smothering the last two kittens with fears and attention. Heather said the odds the whole little will pass are fairly high - so every few minutes we're in and out, supplementing nursing (...if they are, we haven't seen Chai nurse since yesterday morning).
On another note, Eve called me back the other day and told me that she'll come to take Bart & Emmet on Thursday or Friday. Meh. I know I should be happy and super excited - I mean, they're getting adopted together!! - but I am just so apathetic to anything kitten related right now. I am sure afterwords the crying will begin, and I'll be un-numbed...I am going to miss my little baby Emmet :(.
But for right now, I think the last 3 days have really punched me in the stomach, and only time will allow me to start feeling normal again.
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I am so happy for Emmet and Bart! Once you see them being picked up by their forever parents you will KNOW that everything you have gone through is worth it. There is no moment more bittersweet than seeing your babies leave through your front door. Your house will feel empty but your heart will feel full.
ReplyDeleteYou lost your kittens due to nature acting in a way beyond your control. Focus on what you can control. Because of you Bart and Emmet (and soon Chai) will be loved and cherished forever instead of facing their certain fate at the shelter. Focus your sadness and anger at the shitty irresponsible owners that discarded these precious souls like trash.
I'm sorry about losing two more kittens. I hope things get better for you and the kitties very soon. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteand YAY for Bart and Emmet!